Narrantology

All the news that doesn't fit.

Dream Play (2012)

A futurist drama in three parts.              

The world falls apart in slow-motion.

The family unit in this case is a young farming couple.

No kids because there is no money or time for kids.

Economic collapse begets necessity.

The strains of lack of economy test the relationship.

People who laughed at the young farming couple are now farmers.

No consumer confidence.

Rather than buy things, people horde things.

There will be light moments interspersed.

The deux ex machina in this case is a no show.

Still, there will be erotic betrayal.

Money problems beget other problems.

There is no proper plot.

Things just end, one by one.

A horse stands in a fallow field.

A man screams at the dirt.

A creek trickles dry.

PACKING UP YOUR LIFE FOR TWO YEARS IS LIKE BURYING A TIME CAPSULE IN THE SAND: IT’S TRICKY

This blog entry is intended for future Peace Corps Volunteers, but it may be of use to the general public, too.

 

Packing for a two-year stay in a country you’ve never been to leads to all kinds of questions, stresses, and flights of fancy. At some point you might feel guilt for the all-out consumerist binging you’ll be doing leading up to departure, but I’m here to say: Don’t feel guilty. Unless you plan on spending heaps of your own cash to live large as a Peace Corps Volunteer (and this plan only taints the whole experience) you won’t be spending a bunch of money in the next two years. Think of it as getting the American consumption bug out of your system before you enter the rehab that living in a developing country surely instills in a person.

After all, being a consumer in Ethiopia is the most difficult thing you’ll do here. You want to bring a bottle of wine to a party? Get ready to argue over extortionist bottle deposits with the barkeep. You want to buy a bike? Plan on riding it home from the bike seller…even if that means a 30-mile cruise. You want to buy some chicken meat? Only fully-grown, live chickens are sold…so have a plan on how you’re going to kill/feather/gut it. The weekly market sure is a carnival to watch but it’s a hair-raising experience if you need some carrots and lentils. And don’t even get me started on trying to order food at a hole-in-the-wall eatery, no matter how fluent you are in the local language. Miscommunications with servers is as ritualistic as the NYE ball dropping in Times Square: it’d be strange if it didn’t happen every time.

So go out and buy some nice, new gear. You’ll be glad you did. Just don’t buy nice, new, completely useless gear. With that in mind, I wrote up some tips on what you must pack, what is optional to pack, and what should absolutely not be packed. As well, I typed up some Housekeeping items at the end, because in all the excitement of leaving for Peace Corps, you don’t want to forget to feed the fish.

YOU MUST PACK THESE

 Microfiber travel towel(s). I wouldn’t dream of ever using a regular towel after I shower here unless I’m staying at a decent hotel. Cotton towels don’t dry fast enough and they will start smelling after two uses. Best to go the microfiber route on this one. NOTE: Do run these microfiber towels through a hot cycle in the wash before you depart. Otherwise, eight months later and you’re still washing the color dye out of the damn thing…

 Compact, lightweight, waterproof raincoat. During the rainy season this item will be your best friend. You won’t leave home without it. “Lightweight/breathable” and “pit-zips” are the key words here (“Gore-Tex” is typical for these types of coats), as it’ll still be slightly muggy even in the thunderstorm. Check some out at REI or another outdoor store and find one that’s of high quality and yet affordable. You don’t want to worry about getting mud on your $300 jacket here…it’s going to happen no matter what.

 Fleece/wool sweater. Outside between the hours of 8 pm and 8 am, year-round, all across Ethiopia, I require my fleece pullover. I also brought a synthetic down jacket, but I use that more for a pillow than a jacket. However, I’ll get around to wearing it when I go to either the Simien or Bale national parks for a multi-day trek.

A Word on Shoes: Male or female, you’ll be glad you brought a pair of Gore-Tex-lined hiking shoes (high-tops or low-tops don’t matter). You’ll spend the rainy season living in them, walking around in the mud quite a bit, so make sure they’re comfortable. If you’re a runner, bring a pair of running shoes (which can double as basketball, etc., shoes), as it’s cross-country heaven in the less urban parts of the country. Bring a pair of Chacos/sturdy sandals for the dry season, but be prepared to wash your feet at the end of every day: It gets super-dusty here. Bring a pair of comfortable, nice dress shoes that make you feel professional (Note: Wearing nicer shoes is required during PST sessions). I brought a pair of Blundstone boots because they’re comfortable, easy to clean/shine, and will last well beyond my two years here. Do bring a few pairs of cushioning/supportive insoles, as these wear out easily in Ethiopia and will need to be replaced before your shoe does. Do not bring shower slippers: they are easily purchased here. So, bring at least four pairs of footwear. Though I know you’ll bring more than that…

Bring two external HDs. One of them should be a 1TB model with all the digital media on it you would be sad to lose if your laptop shattered to pieces. The other should be a 250-500 GB compact model (for portability and extra backup).

Bring two mp3 players. One of them a high-capacity one you keep at your site and have connected to premium speakers; the other a tiny, cheap one (such as SanDisk’s Sansa Clip models) you can take with you on the 500+ hours you’ll spend sitting on a bus in Ethiopia. It goes without saying to bring a few pairs of headphones.

Laptop. Your single most important item to bring. Make sure you get all the bugs out before departure. And load it with all the free software you can download (such as Skype, VLC media player, etc.) as downloading anything over 100MB is not realistic here. Consider bringing a back-up battery. Invest in a neoprene carrying case. When it comes to size: Smaller is better, as you’ll be lugging it around everywhere you go. NOTE: If you’re in the market for buying a new laptop to bring to Ethiopia, I suggest buying two cheap(er) Toshiba* netbooks instead of one big fancy one. For less than you’d pay for a brand new Apple MacBook Air, you can have peace of mind knowing if one craps out you have another to fall back on. Life is hell without a laptop for Education volunteers over here. And you don’t need a powerful one…just for word processing, emailing, and digital file management, mostly.

*Toshiba builds solid netbooks. Also, Toshiba is the national brand of laptop for Ethiopian NGO workers, so represent!

Burn CDs with a variety of software installation programs, specifically MS Office, anti-virus, etc. You’ll get asked if you have this-or-that software to install on so-and-so’s computer all the time, so come prepared. It’s also good to have as backup in case, mid-service, your laptop craps out and you need to load all your software onto another computer.

Mini-speakers that take rechargeable batteries and pack a good punch so you can listen to tunes in your home. When the power goes out (brownouts are quite common) you can be the only one on your block listening to music. (Or just enjoy the precious, momentary silence!) Nokia makes some good, cheap, reliable models.

Rechargeable AA/AAA batteries and battery charger. I use rechargeable AAA batteries to power my mini-speakers, alarm clock, headlamp, flashlight, and a few other things. DO NOT bring a solar panel. I don’t even know where to begin on why you should not bring one…but for starters, read this article. There will be electricity at all of your sites, I promise.

Small pocket notebooks. Invaluable during PST for taking notes on Amharic words you hear in passing and want to remember. Also, just logistical stuff like taking down phone numbers, etc. Don’t bring a ton of large spiral notebooks, as these will be given to you like candy at trainings.

OPTIONAL-TO-PACK

Jeans: I did not bring a pair of jeans and regret it, kind of. Sure, it gets chilly here enough that a pair of jeans would be nice, but honestly I’m not usually “out on the town” past 7 pm, and by 9 am on most days I’m already sweating, so would probably have to have a ritual of changing in and out of my jeans. I did bring a pair of Carhartt “Sungarees,” which are sturdy like jeans, but more lightweight…and these are a perfect compromise. That being said, I could certainly buy a pair of stylish (but cheaply made) jeans here if I wanted.

Fleece sweatpants or other comfort wear. You will have days when you won’t want to go outside, when all you’ll want to do is tuck in at home with a good book or Mad Men seasons 4 and 5. Also, this is colloquially known as “between the hours of dusk and whenever it is I fall asleep.” Bring something comfortable to throw on for such occasions.

Despite what others might say, sleeping bags are definitely optional. You can make a good case for bringing one (some PCVs sleep in them here…I don’t know why…wool blankets are cheap and plentiful, and easier to clean) and you can make a good case for saving the space in your suitcase for more valuable items. I’ve been in-country for 8 months, am a die-hard backpacker/camper, but have only found the need for a sleeping bag once. A few of us are camping out on a hill next week, so naturally I’m borrowing one from another PCV who never uses hers. That extra space in my suitcase was sooooooooo worth it.

If you don’t bring a sleeping bag, at least bring a sleep sheet. These are found at any outdoors store. They’re made for being a sleeping bag liner, but I’ve found that in warm(er) climates they’re all you need for bedding. And a few throw blankets are always laying around, anyway…

Umbrella. You won’t be able to afford one on your walk-around allowance during PST, so buy a compact, cheap one before you leave the States. June through August is the monsoon season. It’s good to have for when you have to walk to class in the afternoon T-storm.

Parachute cord. Bring about 100 feet of the stuff. Useful for tying up your mosquito net, stringing up a clothes line, hanging a fruit basket, or one of a hundred other uses for strong, resilient, lightweight rope. I put this in the “optional” category because you can get cheap nylon rope here, but it’s just not the same…

Duct Tape. A million uses. Bring a big ol’ roll. Again, I put this in the “optional” category only because if you look really hard in Addis you can find a version of duct tape. But have some for arrival in country.

Kitchen stuff: Wine opener, bottle opener, can opener. Spatulas would be nice to have, but you can improvise. Consider boxing up your favorite spices and additives and having a family member mail it to you once you have a P.O. Box at your site (you’ll know your P.O. Box within the first month of being in Ethiopia).

Fitted sheets are nowhere to be found here. So if you toss-and-turn in your sleep at night, might want to consider bringing some (or having them mailed to you later).

Bandanna/Buff. These are lifesavers sometimes. I use my bandanna as a shield against rogue food particles landing on my lap (the trials & errors of eating with your fingers shouldn’t have to stain your dress pants), as a dust mask when I walk along dirt roads or when I’m on any bus in Ethiopia, as a headband when I run, as a duster for dirty chairs, as an improvised sunshade for my neck, etc., etc., etc.

Kindle/e-reader. It’s a no-brainer purchase. For the cost of four hardcover books and the weight of a single paperback you can have a library at your disposal. There are over 600 Kindle e-book files floating around in Ethiopia—a decent collection of classics and newer stuff—so don’t go out and buy 50 e-books off of Amazon…just buy a few. I also recommend getting the protective case that has its own reading lamp (for nights when the power is out). Note: As a protective caution, I only travel with paperbacks or magazines on bus trips and leave my Kindle for home reading. Others read their Kindle on the buses just fine, despite the dust, heat, and bumps. We’ll see whose lasts longer…

DO NOT PACK THESE

Scarves (the kind that keep your neck warm). You want to be wearing Ethiopian-made scarves, made locally and top quality. Wait until PST. However, it’s OK to bring a stylish scarf for the early days of PST (so you don’t blow all your walk-around allowance on a scarf).

Do NOT bring a hammock. I repeat, DO NOT bring a hammock. You’ve been warned.

Kitchen stuff: Non-stick frying pans. These are easily purchased in the larger towns. However, if your bags are under weight and you’re a die-hard cook, might consider bringing a cast-iron frying pan. Cheese graters, peelers, cutting boards, big wooden spoons, food processors, blenders, electric water-boilers, pots, pans, cutlery, mugs, glasses, and whisks are all available here.

Tent. I’m torn over this because I received a tent here in country from another volunteer who no longer needed it, and I plan on using it this weekend. Its original owner used it once or twice in two years, and I’ll probably have the same usage pattern. (Again: I’m a die-hard camper.) Lodging is so cheap here, and tents so widely rented in the “camping zones,” that it makes very little sense to schlep a tent all the way here. But if you’re dead set on it, do what you will…

HOUSEKEEPING ADVICE

If you are bringing iPods or any other devices that are formatted to work on a computer that you are not bringing to Ethiopia, for heaven’s sake please de-authorize these devices. I have an iPod over here with over 30,000 songs on it, but I have no way to add or delete songs from it because it’s authorized for my iMac back in the States. Yes, I can format it, but I did not also copy all my music files to an external HD, and so therefore would lose all that music.

Destroy all of your checks except for maybe five of them. I speak from experience: Someone back in the U.S. found my checks and forged a bunch of them. Talk about a needless waste of time and money! Bring five checks with you to Peace Corps (one to sign up for Direct Deposit and the others in case you need to mail a check home for some random reason).

Sign-up for an Absentee Ballot. Each state is different, but a good place to start is at your state’s Election homepage. For an address, use Peace Corps’ P.O. Box in Addis. I’ve received two absentee ballots at my site out here in the jungle, (Peace Corps forwarded it to me) so I know the system is working. However, come Presidential election time, I’m going to meet my ballot in Addis sometime in September or October, fill it out, and send it directly from the U.S. Embassy.

Bring no more than four (4) passport-sized photos with you to PST. If you need extras during PST, and you probably won’t, you can just walk up the street to a photo shop and they’ll make you eight passport photos for a dollar (compared with $60+ in the States).

Eat a lot of cheese and ice cream. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

I Was A Travelin’ Man

Credit card receipts issued at restaurants/taverns Jan.2011 through April 2011.

01/04 LOOKING GLASS LOUNGE WASHINGTON DC

01/06 PHO FAR EAST RALEIGH NC

01/06 NATTY GREENES PUB & BR RALEIGH NC

01/09 DRP GREENVILLE SC

01/13 BABA GHANNOUJ DURHAM NC

01/14 COSMIC CANTINA DURHAM NC

01/15 ELEPHANT & CASTLE - PH PHILADELPHIA PA

01/16 KITE & KEY GASTRO PUB PHILADELPHIA PA

02/13 MUCHAS GRACIAS PORTLAND OR

02/21 BURGERVILLE USA PORTLAND OR

03/07 FORT GEORGE BREWERY ASTORIA OR

03/13 VILLAGE INN REST PORTLAND OR

03/18 PORTWAY ASTORIA OR

04/15 MUDAI ETHIOPIAN RESTAURANT PORTLAND OR

04/15 DESDEMONA CLUB ASTORIA OR

04/15 BLUE OCEAN THAI CUISINE ASTORIA OR

04/16 MIGRATION BREWING, LLC PORTLAND OR

04/18 DAIRY QUEEN BANKS OR

04/22 GOOD DOG/BAD DOG PORTLAND OR

05/01 RUMBI SALT LAKE CITY UT

A quick analysis of my consumption patterns clearly indicates I like:

-          International food

-         Brewpubs

-         Ice Cream

-         Using my credit card in Portland, OR

Conclusions (2012)

I’m a writer,

I guess, and I guess

I like conclusions. But

there’s nothing conclusive

about things on Earth,

other than death,

I guess. Living

happily

ever after

dodges

certain facts

that must be faced

against our fears. Even

tears won’t conclude

the melancholic

clogging

of valves and stems,

our daily intake

of breath, chased

with teacups of grief.

How to go forth

neck-deep in muck

when it smells so

intoxicating, inviting

us to stay here

and play?

At Mount Wenchi and it’s stunning lake. Outside of Ambo, Ethiopia.

At Mount Wenchi and it’s stunning lake. Outside of Ambo, Ethiopia.

2011: The Year of the Year

I’m not one for putting out a year-in-review, but 2011 seems to warrant such a debriefing, especially due to my current location isolated in the southwestern corner of Ethiopia. Ever since leaving my job at the Eugene Weekly in February 2009 I’ve felt as if I’ve been plunging into an open-ended abyss (a beautiful, breathtaking & heartbreaking abyss, mind you) that would only end once I became a Peace Corps Volunteer. Now that I’m on more solid ground, I can reflect a bit. So tuck in, folks, with a big glass of milk, this one’s a long one.

January: On January 2, I flew to Philadelphia, PA, to be picked up by a bus and spirited away to East Stroudsburg, PA, a dump of a town that probably has some industrial history but most importantly is the world headquarters of Beyond the Wall, Inc., a company that dispatches ruffians like myself to all corners of the USA to hawk cheaply-made posters and other appropriate products at college campuses and the like. Long story short: I needed a short-term job to fill the gab between Northwest Youth Corps and the Peace Corps, and I happened to be in the right place at the right time to take up an offer from a friend-of-a-friend to join him on this money-making endeavor. The bad news was: The moneymaking part wasn’t nearly as lucrative as I thought it’d be. The good news was: I got to spend six weeks trucking up and down the East Coast, scouting out great eats and craft brews, working up a sweat, seeing a lot of snow, exploring Washington D.C. and Philly on foot, and making just enough money to make it all worthwhile. It was an epic road-trip taken just months before I would hang up my driver’s hat for 2.5 years. Lots of fossil fuel burned. Lots of close-calls driving a huge Ryder truck through big cities. Got to see my best friends Ruby in D.C. and Rachel in Philly, but just missed running across Colin as he biked up the East Coast during one of the worst winters of recent memory. I made a friend out of a friend-of-a-friend, had a couple of revelations on the beaches of Delaware, and was clearly reminded why I really don’t miss the college life. (If you ever want to gaze at the shallowness of American college students through the clear prism of poster sales, look no further than a stint with Beyond the Wall.)

February: Got back to Astoria in mid-February and had a week or two to reassess and decompress before starting my new gig as Astoria High School’s pole-vault coach. Initially I told them I would come three days a week, but without any proper excuse for not showing up five days a week, plus weekend track meets, I pretty much ended up devoting my life to the track team for 12 straight weeks. Life was pretty sweet in Astoria. I took up residence in the Green House for the sake of my sanity and biked to track practice through the rain as much as possible on the blue hipster bike Rachel left behind in A-town. The February weather was liquid sunshine, a potent combination of blustery storms and golden light. Perfect.

Because of the great February weather, Andrew and I went on a weekend backpacking trip up the Eagle Creek watershed in the Columbia River Gorge. Little did I know that this would be my last backpacking trip before coming to Africa…oh well, it turned out to be quite the journey. We trundled as far as we could until our boots sunk into three-foot deep snow and we turned back, camping at a spot previously taken over by a Northwest Youth Corps crew (I know this because they left their bear-hang equipment and flagging everywhere).

March: I began to brew my first beer this month. At first I was ambitiously plotting a Chocolate-Chili-Raspberry Stout, but then I sobered up. I decided to combine two chocolate stout recipes into one, borrowed & bought the equipment and ingredients needed, and got down to business. As Graham (my brew-partner) and Andrew can attest to, I was pretty paranoid about “contamination” and whether I was doing it all the right or wrong way. I set the 5-gallon glass pitcher in a bedroom, covered it with a box to keep light out, and a down sleeping bag to keep it insulated, and let it do its thing.

My pole-vaulters had their trials and errors. We were rained-out of so many competitions I was wondering if we’d ever get to compete…I lost a few of my original crew (as the track team shrank in half after spring break) but a few dedicated souls stepped up and committed. Pole-vaulting attracts a rag-tag assortment of athletes: those lost souls who either find no other event to their liking, or those who want a challenge, or those with split-personalities. Rarely does AHS Track attract actual pole-vaulters: this year wasn’t any different. I had a girl who weighed 106 lbs. and could hardly do a pull-up; another who was 4 foot 5 inches and had a hell of a time clearing any height at all. I had our star high-jumper, who had a distaste for hard work and practice and it showed. I had a prima donna male pole-vaulter who had the strength and gymnastic ability of a vaulter, but a mental block prevented him from accomplishing most of his potential. I had a rail-thin male vaulter who liked to think about pole-vaulting more than actually doing it. I had an extremely dedicated lady hurdler who would do run-through after run-through until she broke out in tears because she was waiting for me to say “Enough! Go home!” And I had a good-hearted kid who wasn’t an athlete, was always academically ineligible to compete in meets, but nevertheless was just a joy to be around. I’ll wait til the May category to tell you how they did at Districts…

So sometime in early March I somewhat haphazardly became involved in a local choreographed dance show put on by the esteemed Astorian and Columbian Café chef, Marco Davis. I went to the audition on a whim, and thankfully I didn’t have to audition (I had nothing prepared). Pretty much everyone who came to the audition took part in the show in some regard. Rehearsals were every Wednesday and Thursday nights from 10pm to midnight at the Columbian Theater, which fit nicely into my nocturnal existence. The dancers were all amateurs; most had never done anything like this. Because of my brief brush with choreographed dancing in college, I had more experience than most. The dance numbers were jazzy, sexy, funky, blasphemous and hilarious. The show was dubbed “The Eruption” and featured other pieces from individuals, duos, and quartets.

In late March I made a return to my old stomping grounds, Eugene, and went on a hike with Ida and her boyfriend to the sand dunes south of Florence, one of my favorite places to be in the world. Later, I reconnected with Sir William Hough, former co-leader extraordinaire in Youth Corps.

April: Sometime in early April we had a final dance party at Pearl’s old apartment, just weeks before a fire tore through the building. Our hot dancing made flames, apparently.

The last week of April, before Phil and Hannah’s wedding, I jetted off to Colorado to spend a week with Jonah and his family. Little Mateo was in a lower-body cast, which made for some funny exchanges. Sadly, the body cast prevented him from attending Phil’s wedding and being the ring-bearer. Jonah, Marisol, and I drove to Moab and reunited with cousins, aunts, uncles, Moab miscreants, and met Hannah’s extended family. Phil and Hannah settled on a wedding location in the final week and we all tried to pull it together in time.

Meanwhile, many of us spent the day before the wedding rafting the Colorado River. I was happy to be asked to “captain” a boat; unfortunately it was the smallest raft and the hardest to navigate in the heavily swollen river. In a tight spot I piloted the raft into a hidden boulder, turning us sideways into a churning bowl of cold, brown, river. Uncle Steve, Fred, and Harmony were pitched over the side while John Goodenberger, Ethan, and I tried pulling them back in. Meanwhile I was steering the boat clear of the whirlpool we were stuck in and Phil was paddling like a madman trying to catch up to us. It seemed like they were in the water for about five minutes, but I’m sure it was only about 45 seconds before we pulled them all in and I steered us through the remaining rapids to a sandy beach where all the boats had pulled onto for a lunch break.

While the rest of the boating party went obliviously about the tasks of eating and drinking lunch, my boat was busy stripping off soaked denim and other unfortunately chosen rafting attire and switching into a random assortment of dry clothes donated from those who were smart enough to pack some along. We were in shock. Things could have gone from bad to deadly real quick. Uncle Steve’s life-vest wasn’t even securely attached to his body (I’m not sure he knew how to swim). We were stuck in an eddy and thankfully no other boats plowed into us. Only half of us went overboard, leaving the other half to help the others back in. If we didn’t have dry clothes to change into hypothermia would have set in real quick as the temps were around 55 degrees, cloudy, with a wind-chill. I may not be the most decisive captain, but I did keep calm and give urgent instructions to Ethan and John while piloting the boat away from danger. Little wonder nobody wanted to get into my boat (Phil’s puny, vulnerable raft) after lunch, instead preferring to be in the professional raft Hannah’s grandma was riding in.

Later the next day, Phil and Hannah got married on a bluff overlooking Mill Creek, just a five-minute drive from their house in Moab. It was a beautiful outdoor wedding with a spectacular backdrop. I’ll never forget the image I have in my mind of all three of my brothers and I tying our ties Full Windsor style in front of Phil’s huge wall mirror, just 20 minutes before “showtime.” I guess that’s why one has weddings. Big shows in front of lots of people are highly stressful times in ones life, but it does have the bonus, if pulled off with grace, of instilling vivid memories that last a lifetime. I’ll also never forget mishandling a knife to cut the wedding cake; Marisol’s spastic dance moves at the reception; and my Dad and Uncle Dave discussing points of contention civilly, face-to-face, at 11:30pm at night, stepping out from behind their glowing computer screens to chew the fat in real life.

As a bonus, I was able to bring out a case of my freshly-brewed Black Lab Chocolate Stout, with labels featuring Sinclair, the ring-bearing dog, on them. The brews were my wedding gift to Phil and Hannah. I really suck at giving store-bought gifts. But ask me to hand-make a gift and I pour my soul into it, so to speak.

John, Andrew and I drove the rental car back to Salt Lake City and caught a flight back to Portland. While waiting to board, the TV screens beamed out the shocking news: Bin Laden was just killed by Navy SEALs on a secret mission.

May: Speaking of “big shows,” the dance extravaganza was set to debut the night of May 14, the capstone to a week of near-on endless track-and-field practices, meets, and dress rehearsals. I was literally running from one thing to the next, with no downtime, for a full week before the “big show.”

On Tuesday was JV Districts. Just the head coach and I attended the meet held 2.5 hours away from Astoria in Yamhill, Oregon. I got to see my JV vaulters clear some heights and come away as happy as can be. On Thursday and Friday I had to take the high school bus to the District Meet held in Forest Grove, Oregon (2.5 hours away), return home at 9pm, and then immediately roll into dress rehearsals at the Columbian. It was a rush! On Thursday I got to see an AHS freshman distance runner win the 3000 meters (a young lady I talked out of pole-vaulting because I thought she had more talent in distance running; apparently she was easily bored by running); I also got to see one of my lady vaulters win the high jump. Against my advice, my one boy Varsity vaulter borrowed a fancy new pole from a Seaside vaulter and cleared a paltry 8 feet, 6 inches, a full foot and a half below his personal best. What a disappointing end to his senior year.

But Friday was truly special. I told my two lady vaulters that in order to place 8th or better (and earn a Varsity letter) they had to clear 7 feet, 6 inches at the minimum. M., the 106-lbs freshman and A., the sophomore high jump champion, were in the thick of it. With their season bests, the best they could hope for was 11th and 12th place, respectively. M. had only cleared 6 foot, 6 inches before. A. hadn’t done much better all season long, but had plenty of potential and positive energy after her win in the high jump. I took M. aside prior to the competition and made a few minor, but crucial, tweaks to her approach and pole-planting technique. In warm-ups she implemented the new technique and soared high as a kite. She dismounted the mat and screamed, “Now that’s a confidence-booster!” In competition, I stood off to one side, remaining silent but visible. M. got up and cleared height after height on her first try. It sounds cliché, but things were finally clicking just right. She was making it look easy when just a few weeks before I was comforting her after the sixth meet in a row where she no-heighted (didn’t clear opening height, which was generally 6 feet). And A., the prima donna, was not going to let this freshman girl best her. She, too, cleared 6 feet, then 6’ 6”, then 7’. They were both reaching new heights, and I could hardly contain my excitement for them. At 7’ 6”, they struggled a bit, but both of them cleared it (M. on the 2nd try, A. on the 3rd). At 8 feet, they finally hit the mental wall. I have video that shows M. soaring over 8’ 6”, but she didn’t have the experience to complete the vault. A. was in the 4x100m and had to rush her last jumps to go warm up for the finals. I hugged them both, a proud coach. Later I would deliver the good news: M. got 8th (getting top 8 at Districts is an automatic Varsity letter) while A. got 9th. “Congratulations,” I told M., “You just earned your letter.” She was ecstatic, as only a freshman can be about lettering in a sport.

I was the ecstatic, too, but the weekend was just starting. On Saturday morning I woke up and drove up to the Middle School. The AHS track team was running the Middle School Track Districts as a fundraiser, and I had to make a morning appearance and help out where needed. I had some great talks with the team, the last I’d see of them, pretty much, before scuttling down to the Columbian for our afternoon dress rehearsal (our all-ages show). Then we broke for dinner.

My nerves were shot. All I could do was drink a beer and nibble on a Clif Bar to mentally prepare myself for the show. I arrived at the Columbian at 10pm. Showtime was 11pm. Already the line to get in was stretched around the block. I knew friends were in line, but I didn’t know which. I didn’t tell my parents about the show because I knew they wouldn’t get there early enough to get in. Many folks were turned away at the door due to fire safety regulations. I’m pretty sure the Columbian can fit over 700 souls, but it seemed like over 1000 squeezed in. Time passed and the show started, as we rehearsed it, with a jazzy number, one of our most eye-popping, frenetic dances of the night. I knew, once the song was 1/3 of the way through and no mistakes were made, that the rest of the night would be gravy.

And it was. We whipped through a tight hour and a half show with nary a hiccup. The second dance was set to a chant-driven song that was probably once used in a French perfume commercial. I started the dance in monk’s robes and ended it in black boxer-briefs…that about sums it up. The third and final dance was set to Cee-lo Green’s hit “Fuck You,” and featured us starting the show in choralwear and finishing in custom-made underwear. We got to choose our footwear; I finally broke out my white Air Jordans held in storage since 7th grade, 1996. The show ended with the cast flipping off the audience, but in a rebellious, cathartic way (not offensive in any way). It was a tremendous high to be on that stage, on that night, capping off a week of activity.

Then I got to relax on Sunday. I had a week to decompress and gear up for Peace Corps. I took the bus to Portland on Monday for a dermatological screening at OHSU where I was told I needed a biopsy on a skin growth to rule out cancer. I deflated in the office. I stayed another night in Portland with friends and was able to schedule the biopsy the next day. I hopped the bus home to Astoria, thinking, “This is not what I need this week, this is not what I need this week at all.” I continued to pack and arrange my life for Peace Corps. I would be departing Astoria on May 21 and flying out of Portland on May 22. On Thursday, May 19, at 7pm, I got a call from the doctor saying everything was normal and fine. I breathed a sigh of relief. The next morning, Friday at 8am, I got a call from Peace Corps Medical Office, demanding that I fax in my medical file at once, that if the PC doctor didn’t receive it by 5pm (3pm PST) they would pull me from staging (and my PC dream would end right there). I desperately called OHSU, asking what my options were. In the end, the only option was to drive the 2-hours to Portland, to OHSU’s records office, retrieve my file and fax it myself. I got in my car and I floored it. I listened to a Radiolab podcast about “Stress,” and felt it flooding my body. Then, while driving over the Longview Bridge, I got a call back from Peace Corps. The woman’s voice was softer than before, more reassuring. She told me not to kill myself driving to Portland, that it was going to be OK, to get the paperwork in as soon as I could but that, regardless, my spot at Peace Corps staging in Atlanta was assured. I thanked her, hung up, pulled into a gas station parking lot, and bawled my eyes out. It was happening. It was really happening. I guess I never felt it was real until the PC lady said my spot was assured that morning in Longview. Then it all hit at once. Stress does strange things to ones body. The week before flying off to Atlanta, and then Ethiopia, was one of the most stressful of my life. But I made it through. I made it to Portland for the 2nd time in one week. I faxed my medical records. I drove back to Astoria. I finished packing. I said goodbye to friends one last time. I woke up early the next morning to catch the bus back to Portland. I said goodbye to my parents, my brother, and the two dogs outside of the bus. I couldn’t really form words; I just cried it out. Then I got to Portland (for the 3rd time that week), where a huge birthday/going-away party was being held at my friends house, and we lived it up as much as possible, and I lived it up a little too much, as I woke up the next morning feeling ill and spent all of take-off curled in a ball with barf bags arranged all around me and when we reached cruising altitude I went to the bathroom and purged all the stress of the past several weeks in one glorious arc, through the germless air, down the stainless steel hole, and I hit flush, and it was good.

Then I passed out and when I awoke we had arrived in Atlanta and I was a Peace Corps Trainee. It was like entering into a new skin. Out with the old, in with the new! From that point forward, until August 5, 2011, the Peace Corps training staff would dictate my life. Some things were well thought out and organized while others were less so. But overall it was a tightly knit, brightly colored introduction to the life and times of a Peace Corps Volunteer. My roommate at the Westin Hotel in Atlanta was a Bay Area dude named Brendan, and we hit it off as “roomies.” We have remained roommates ever since, even sharing a room as recently as the training in Addis last month. The last night in Atlanta (and America) was spent looking for a much-lauded pizza and beer joint. We ate excellent pizza and I had a pint of Bells Brewery Big Two-Hearted IPA, one of the best beers I’ve ever tasted (I previously had this brew in Raleigh, NC back in January during Poster Tour). The next day we woke up early, got our Yellow Fever vaccination at the Federal Building, and then were dropped off at Atlanta airport to navigate our way to Ethiopia on our own. The flight from Atlanta to Germany was terrible. We had a real long layover in Frankfurt. I ate German food and walked around. I didn’t have enough money for a cup of coffee…Europe being expensive and European airports being stupid-expensive. From Atlanta onwards I would only spend the money given to me as allowance from Peace Corps, and it wasn’t much at all. Just enough to survive. It’s all we really need. The flight to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia was much nicer. I slept almost the whole way. We landed in Addis at night, were driven to the Kings Hotel, where we were pretty much holed-up for the next week and change for an onslaught of powerpointy presentations and witches brew of inoculations. Oh, and somewhere in there we all boarded the only double-decker buses in Africa and were paraded around the capitol while Ethiopians cheered us, jeered us, flipped us off and generally freaked us the fuck out. I’m sure the feeling was mutual.

June: In June I moved in with my host family, consisting of a mother, Dirbwork, a 11-year-old sister, Saron, and an 18-year-old niece, Genet. That first night in Asela was awkwardness manifest, as most first nights with host families are. But things warmed up quickly. I broke out UNO cards, let the three of them type on my computer, made coffee Ethiopian-style, and generally made myself the Fool to many of their jokes. I was happy. I dare say I now miss them dearly, and will travel back to Asela (a 3-day journey) for Ethiopian Christmas on January 7. Also in June I found out my site location, Bonga, and made a weeklong visit to scope it out. It was my first time beyond the grasp of the Peace Corps training crew, and freedom tasted nice, though I was beyond broke within about three days. Laura (the other Education PCV assigned to Bonga) and I were mistakenly only given 440 birr to live on for a week. After bank, transportation, and post office fees, that left us with about 48 birr/day ($3/day) to spend on food and lodging. Enter Mike and Dave, the other two PCVs currently living in Bonga, who helped us out by lodging us and buying our meals. It was a pretty sweet couple of days in the rainy, muddy jungle hilltown I would soon call home. I cringed a bit at the dingy campus apartment I was told would be my home, but at least I had a home; Laura’s house was still pending, and the options didn’t look inviting.

July: This month was intensive language and technical training. I only logged online about once every 15 days since service was glacially slow and super expensive. I immersed myself in the study of Amharic and the educational system of the Ethiopian government. At one point PC drove us all out to a hot springs resort that had a deep pool and a high dive, which was a divine excursion indeed. I experienced my first bout of intestinal distress, projectile vomiting, and the wonderdrug Ciproflaxin. And then my second bout. Both times after eating my host mother’s chicken stew (doro wot), thus cementing my dislike for the festive dish. My ability to stomach injera (rubbery flatbread) ebbed and waned. I took ice-cold bucket showers every day (we had plenty of water in the rainy season). I ran at the local stadium with other world-class athletes in the early morning hours. I went on “picnics” with my host family that turned out to be just going out for coffee at 6pm in the evening. I pushed my host family’s boundaries by staying out after 7:30pm to walk my female friends home so they would be safe. I gave a speech during a Host Family Appreciation Luncheon that was mistranslated and ended up making my host mother cry the entire afternoon. All in all, Pre-Service Training closely resembled a study abroad experience I had back in 2003, in Siena, Italy. Good times, lots of learning, crazy cross-cultural juxtapositions.

August: I became an official Peace Corps Volunteer this month! That was the good news. The bad news is that I had to say goodbye to all the 69 friendly faces I’d come to bond with over the course of the past two and a half months, move to site, and start dealing with long periods of alone time. I focused the first few weeks on setting up my house and making a nest for myself. Time really sped up and slowed down based on how busy I could make myself. I plunged into my work some days, other days I just hid out in my house, completely exhausted from being a foreigner and acting the part every time I stepped out my door. Also, the rainy season hit its peak, and it was a muddy slog to get just about anywhere in Bonga. It was a weird month. I think it finally clicked when I went for one of several of my Sunday distance runs, washed my clothes, and spent the afternoon drinking coffee and watching Satellite TV with my neighbors.

September: This month I branched out a bit. I met up with some Tourism Bureau folks and went on an epic hike to the oldest coffee tree in the world. I traveled to a small town 2.5 days away for a get-together and BBQ with other “Jimma Loopers,” what PCVs who are stationed in SW Ethiopia are dubbed. I celebrated Ethiopian New Years, Meskal (Finding of the True Cross), and the Kafa New Year (cultural festival with raw meat and lots of dancing). I had meetings with Peace Care, an NGO that wants to set up a partnership with the Bonga Hospital, and hung out with those folks a fair bit.

October: I was under the impression that college (and my work) would officially start on Oct. 17, so much of early October was spent preparing for this fortuitous event. Did I mention that pretty much between Meskel (Sept. 19) and Oct. 17, not a soul walked the campus greens? At least I was given keys to my ELIC Classroom, so I spent a good chunk of time setting up the room and making it ready for class and club meetings. When Oct. 17 rolled around, I was told college would start “maybe next week.” The next week, “maybe in two weeks.” Classes really didn’t start until Nov. 3, so it was a strange waiting game I played. In the meantime I got the English clubs up and running, so the students had something to do while the teachers sat in endless “self-reflection” meetings assessing the previous school year strengths and weaknesses.

November: November was a whirlwind. All I heard from PCVs already in Ethiopia was how much of a struggle it is to find solid work to do. I did not have this problem. I launched several new English clubs. I made appearances at several “welcoming” ceremonies. I gave inspirational and introductory speeches to several hundreds groups of students. I began teaching a group of college instructors advanced classroom English twice a week. I made appointments to observe classes both at the college and at local primary schools. I typed up a 14-page needs analysis document. I finally broke the ice with several teachers and staff at the college, integrating into their closed-circuit collegiate community. For better or worse, Peace Corps rescheduled the In-Service Training that was supposed to begin Nov. 27. I still ended up going to Jimma for Thanksgiving (lounging by a pool eating homemade brownies and drinking St. George’s about sums it up) and onwards to Addis for a half-day training and a full weekend of good eats, long nights, and many reunions with fellow PCVs. On Nov. 27 I ran the Great Ethiopian Run, a 10km parade-style run, completely ninja-style. By this I mean that registration for the race filled up months in advance and so the only way to run the race would be to just get lost in the crowd of 35,000+ people and to be swept along the racecourse. It was, hands-down, one of the top 5 experiences I’ve had this year of years, and I must personally thank a fellow PCV for talking me into doing it, regardless of my personal guilt over being non-registered. It was a great 29th birthday present to myself, I suppose.

December: I lost a lot of steam on projects at the college after I left for a week. When I returned the teachers were administering mid-term exams prior to departing for the two-week Practicum Experience. I typed up a proposal to conduct a survey at regional primary schools on the status of their English clubs and got it approved. One weekend Andrew and Faith, the administrators at the Chiri Health Center, a Catholic-based American health center located near Bonga, picked up me, Mike, and his girlfriend, Carly, and drove us out to Deka, where another PCV, Jon, lived, and we embarked on a 16.5 mile hike to a waterfall we’d only seen once in a photograph. On the drive home we spotted Honey Badgers and Wild Boar on the side of the road. Then I started my Practicum study, which you can read about extensively at Narrantology. Then I had a family emergency that compelled me to return to Bonga earlier than anticipated so I could be in contact with people back in the States. Then Christmas came around and some Jimma Loopers congregated at the Chiri Health Clinic for an American Holiday in the Jungle. I don’t have high expectations for this NYE. The plan is to eat good food at another PCV’s house and then venture out into Bonga’s “nightlife” to see if there’s dancing to be had. But sometime around the stroke of midnight I’m pretty sure I’ll be surrounded by an endless starry night, a crescent moon, the nearby threat of marauding hippos, and perhaps contemplating the absolute absurdity of time, and what it all means, and the life, the universe, the everything.

Coda: Throughout the year 2011, there has been one overriding theme: I have been blessed a thousand times over with positive outcomes. Opportunities arose, the universe conspired, and I lucked out every time. I try not to dwell too much on the nascent feeling of having escaped a bullet; that this year could have turned out much, much worse than it did. Who knows: Maybe in the face of such extreme poverty, I find it hard to be pessimistic. Or maybe being an ambassador of peace has made me ever proud to be an American. You know, the oath I swore as a Peace Corps Volunteer includes the words “I will defend the constitution against foreign enemies.” Aside from the hawkish wording, I take that to be a heavy-handed way of saying, “I stand for freedom, democracy, and basic human rights: So go ahead, make my day, punk!”

Peace on Earth, folks.

2012 is just another year to be here.

Keep hope alive.

Chuck Adams

Bonga, Ethiopia

12/31/2011

Depravity makes great poetry.

Depravity makes great poetry.

Field Report To You Oh My God: Part Two: The Chenna Mafia

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 14

Chenna is like a Tuscan hilltown: Breezy, great views, a “high road” that cuts across a ridge, and a local mafia. Any bus passengers trying to get out of town in the morning (like I was attempting to do on this bright, sunny day) will have to contend with the Chenna mafia. See, Chenna bus operators could offer reasonable public transportation options to a public that certainly demands it, but they insist on tactics of fear, intimidation, and stupidity.

Case in point: It’s 8am and I want to go to Mizan, about 50 km distant. So I chow down on five sambusas, a glass of weak tea, and enter the bus station, looking for a bus headed that direction (there are only two directions buses can go in Chenna: east or west). There certainly is! It’s going to Mizan. I hop on and take a seat. I’m used to this waiting game: Buses don’t even start their engines until 95 percent full, buses don’t leave the bus station until 100 percent full, and buses don’t leave town until 150 percent full. It’s just the Ethiopian way. I understand that. I’ve long ago cultured a patient demeanor in the face of such difficulties.

Then I remember that two buses originating from Bonga will be passing through Chenna around 8:30am en route to Mizan. If they have space available, I can hop on and get to Mizan hours before the Chenna bus even pulls out of the bus station. I get off the bus and walk to the street. This is where serious travelers wait: The side of the road looking for anything with wheels and an internal-combustion engine to get them from point A to point B. I’ve seen people waiting in the middle of nowhere shouting as buses pass them by (nevermind the bus is at 200 percent capacity) and I’ve seen people wait hours to hop a ride a little over a kilometer walk away. (Some Ethiopians are epic walkers; others are allergic to moving their legs.)

So I wait outside the bus station, along the main road, greeting Chenna’s idle men, miscreant children, and women-on-a-mission. A young man wearing designer eyeglasses approaches, smartly dressed and toting a duffel bag. His name is Assefa, and he’s a high school teacher in Shay Bench, about 50 km south of Chenna, where he grew up, and where he was visiting family for the past week. Assefa and I shoot the breeze and then see the Bonga-to-Mizan come barreling down the road. We pick up our bags and get ready to elbow our way onto any free seats.

The bus pulls up and it looks half empty. The door swings open and a doorman beckons us inside. There is nothing illegal about what we’re doing. It is simple travel economics: May as well take the express bus over the local bus. But then the Chenna Mafia roars into action. Thugs block the door to the bus. There is a commotion, yelling, and then the Chenna-to-Mizan bus pulls out of the gates, engine revving. It nearly rams the side of the Bonga bus and all of a sudden it’s Mad Max, as one bus chases another bus, blocking it from making any U-turns, all the way out of town.

Assefa and I stand on the side of the road. I’m a bit stunned, as I nearly got crushed by the Chenna bus, and still can’t believe what I just saw. But here it gets stranger.

An Isuzu truck pulls up and it’s going to Shay Bench. Assefa is in luck! He asks me if I’d like a lift to a junction town halfway to Mizan, where I can catch a bus onwards. I tell him no, I’d rather only take one bus today. We shake goodbye. He runs up to the truck and is halfway inside when I see angry hands rip him from the cab and pull him backwards and to the ground, as if he was trying to jump a fence at a minimum-security prison and the police got to him too soon. The angry hands belonged to Chenna’s bus thugs, who were probably receiving a daily pay of 2 birr for their thugging of Ethiopia’s schoolteachers. Assefa collects himself, shouts a few angry words, and then walks back toward me.

He tries to contain his anger but he knows there are better ways than this. I tell him I’m sorry, but Americans would be locked up for actions less than what those thugs did.

The Chenna bus is back and is patrolling town, looking for passengers, something it should’ve been doing instead of going apeshit on schoolteachers. Assefa and I board, submissively, and the busboy (who is wearing a streetwise “Newsies” cap straight outta da 1920s ghetto) smiles widely at me and says something. “Don’t talk to me, dumbo,” I say, in English, and head straight for the bench seating in the back.

The ride to Mizan is all bumper cars. The road is terrible, and we descend at least 1,000 meters over the course of 30 km. Passengers keep the windows open and periodically attempt to vomit. I sit in the back, the bounciest part of the bus, and keep a straight pokerface on me at all times. The passengers keep looking over at me to see how I’m handling the tortuous journey, and I look half-asleep.

Assefa quietly tells me how he wants to move to America, that he tries his every chance at getting lucky in the Diversity Visa lottery, but always no dice. He then tells me his backup plan is to move to Kenya, to Egypt, or maybe to South Africa. Places where he can make a better life for himself. I tell him Ethiopia has one of the world’s fastest-growing economies, and he tells me that that’s just propaganda the government peddles to its people. The real Ethiopians aren’t seeing any additional wealth. All they see is 40 percent inflation and Asians building roads for them.

I wish Assefa good luck. On a different day I might try to convince him to stay in Ethiopia, to make a better life for his fellow countryman, and to stay close to his family. But after the Chenna Mafia fiasco, I send Assefa my deepest hope he makes it far, far away.

 

End of Part Two

Field Report To You Oh My God: Part One

SUNDAY, DEC. 11

Wake up at 5:30am. Hop on the college bus to Shishinda at 6am. Why do these buses start so damn early? I ask this question every time I have to wake up in the dark to board these buses. But then the sun rises over a newly dawning Africa and the lush jungle mist creeps through the trees and I remember: Oh yeah, taking buses in Ethiopia is like a spectral morning light show. The admission is an early rise and a seat on the bus.

Arrive in Shishinda at 7:30am. Meet up with Tegagne, a colleague, and he shows me to my room at the Andinet Hotel, literally an eight by eight mud-walled cellblock, with a beaten-to-death foam mattress and questionable sheets. Cost is 25 birr ($1.50USD) a night. The electricity is out, as it will be most of the time in Shishinda. The shintbet is down the path, past the ratty-looking sheep lined up for slaughter and the gawking local family, baffled by my presence in such a modest establishment. After I go to the bathroom the owner asks me several times if everything is OK, as if I was puking in there instead of urinating.

For breakfast I eat ful, a bean/onion/pepper/butter dish, at a lean-to shelter with a tarp-roof, while my colleagues eat dulet, which is finely ground sheep intestine. Take a nap. Listen to Blind Pilot’s “We Are the Tide” album, which is growing on me, then venture out in Shishinda. I have nothing on the agenda today except to relax and wait for Monday, when the local schools are in session.

Shishinda is the equivalent to Ethiopia’s Pleasantville, a place where Superman might have lived, were he to crash-land on the wrong continent. It’s a junction city, with traffic heading straight for Mizan or diverting to Tepi. The road is recently paved, giving this town a luxury not even Bonga or Mizan enjoy. But the real treat is the numerous sidepaths and backroads just out of earshot of the main road.

At 9:30am I drink buna at the bus station, where I meet Mulugeta, a high school chemistry teacher serving his two years of duty in Shishinda after graduating from Bonga College. He and his friend have one pastime on Sundays: they walk aimlessly in the foothills around town. We do simply this, admiring the Catholic kindergarten (it’s nice!) and the cordoned-off section of the market where coffee is taxed and sold. This is my kind of town!

At noon, my colleagues and I walk to Lema’s, a restaurant well away from the main road, near the market, where we are served tibs by China (the sole waitress) and Anna (the drinks lady). My colleagues won’t let me eat with them, as they say I can’t compete with their speed and deft shoveling of food into their mouths. I concur. I like to enjoy my food. I’d rather not feel like I’m a tiny dog sharing a small bowl of chow with a pit bull (which is how I feel when I share a meal with most Ethiopians).

Lema’s is the place to eat, apparently, and we eat lunch and dinner there two days in a row. You know you’re in a small town when patrons don’t clap for service, but simply call out “China! China!” You also know you’re from a small town when you walk through and are obliged to greet and chew the fat with every single person you might have once been acquainted with when you lived here five years ago. This was the preposterous fate of Kebede, who once taught at the local high school for several years before moving on to Bonga. We couldn’t walk more than ten feet without him having to drift off and shoot the shit with someone he barely remembers. “I must give greeting,” he says, “Or else they’ll say, ‘He’s changed…he’s not the same person…” People gossip in small towns, and in gossip-controlled Ethiopia, it can be a fierce social motivator to be on your best behavior at all times.

MONDAY, DEC. 12

I visit Aberayuda primary school. They do not have an English Club, and have near-zero exposure to English except in class. Residents see a lot of Koreans in town (the road-builders basecamp, known informally as simply “South Korea,” is nearby) but the only white people they see zoom past in the passenger seat of Land Rovers, bound for expeditions in the Southwestern fringes of Ethiopia. Far as Shishinda residents are concerned, these “visitors to their country” might as well be blow-up dolls Ethiopian tour guides install in their vehicles so they can drive in the carpool lane.

Hence, I am mobbed. I try to talk to some of the college students at the school, to see how their practicum is going, and notice that I’m surrounded by at least 100 students who invariably scream something offensive and impolite as desired. I duck into the School Director’s office, and we sit awkwardly for a few minutes. I’m not sure anyone understands what kind of distress I’m in…that I can’t just walk around the school and take a gander, as it’s like Lady Gaga trying to walk through an Orange Country high school and not be noticed. I take a tactic from sharks and keep moving. If I stop and talk to anyone, inevitably a crowd of hundreds gathers to listen in, and I’m drowned in claustrophobia. If I keep moving, quickly moving, then usually its manageable.

I sit-in on two English lessons: one at Aberayuda and one at Dingera primary school. Both are handled by adept English speakers, definitely schooled in Active Learning Methods, but perhaps need to chill out a little bit. Maybe it’s my presence that makes them nervous, but when they spew out English as 120rpms nobody, not even I, can understand what the lesson’s about.

It must be frustrating to be a teacher of English in Ethiopia. The students lack confidence and even the will to try, because if they’re wrong they’ll be ridiculed. So trying to get students to practice English, even in English class, is like trying to pull wisdom teeth out of a toddler’s upper jaw, practically impossible/definitely excruciating.

TUESDAY, DEC. 13

It’s 8am and the bus to Chenna is pulling stupid tricks this morning. It circles around town before coming back to rest just outside the bus station. The passengers all get out. I’m confused. Apparently 80 percent capacity was not full enough to make the 15km journey to Chenna. The bus drivers get greedy and would rather have all the passengers disembark and think the bus isn’t going to Chenna, but then when a minivan pulls up yelling “Chenna! Chenna! Chenna!” and people rush to get on, suddenly the bus revs up and pulls away and Ethiopian, never ones to be wise about such things, frantically try to climb into a quickly speeding bus. Kebede, my colleague, turns to me and explains it as “simple jealousy.” The bus passengers run and jump back onto the bus once it stops a block away, but I walk as slowly as I can. The bus won’t leave town without my patronage. It knows where I want to go, and I know it will do everything short of murder its kid sister to get my 10 birr bus fare for the day. And so I wait, outside the bus, for it to take off, disappear in the distance, reappear, drive to the other side of town, disappear, reappear on the horizon and come to a stop right in front of me. OK, time to get on. This time the bus is sufficiently full to make the long, long 15 km journey to Chenna, and so departs, but then makes a stop every kilometer on the way to load up gear/passengers who only need a lift a few blocks.

In Ethiopia, it’s the shorter distance journeys that are most distressing. I will just leave it at that, as I have another bus story to tell later.

10:30am and I finally arrive in Chenna. The main road is still being worked on, and it rained last night, so it’s a mud-ugly town on first inspection. I’m staying at the Sheraton, a ritzy place with more cell-block rooms behind a restaurant/bar, but at least the sheets are freshly laundered. Teshome, Zelalem, and I walk to Qocha Wacha primary school to continue my study of English Clubs and the Practicum experience. When we arrive, the college students are doing a service project, installing markers for students to line up at in the morning when they salute the flag and sing the allegiance. I talk with the Director and one of the English teachers. They lack many resources and qualified English teachers, whatever that means.

The school has dramatic views. Chenna is essentially a hilltown in the Toscana sense of the word, with downright chilly temps and steep drops on either side of town. At Chenna primary school, the college students (who have converted classrooms into makeshift dormitories) whip up a coffee ceremony to mark the beginning of practicum. Coffee, orange soda, popcorn, and bread is served. I mark the occasion by giving an inspirational speech and then cutting the bread. Since the students come from different parts of SW Ethiopia, they present each of their unique dances. I did not bring anything warmer than a scarf and, by the end of the performances, am shivering. My colleagues and I retreat back to the Sheraton, where we put on several more layers, eat dinner, and then drink some Supermint, guaranteed to keep you warm on a cold night, and give you fresh breath, too.

End of Part One

What I Listened To In 2011

2011 was an odd year for music. I think some good albums came out, but (as has been the case the past two years) my access to them was limited to nonexistent. Some of what I did obtain really stuck with me, like PJ Harvey’s Let England Shake, while others took all year to really bloom (Radiohead’s The King of Limbs). There were some albums that I was excited about but which fell short of magnificent status, and I will mention these honorables at the end of this post. Without further ado, here’s what I listened to in 2011:

PJ Harvey * Let England Shake

Key Track: “The Glorious Land”

Leave it to PJ Harvey to make a much-welcome anti-war album eight years too little, too late. But we’ll forgive her because this album was worth the wait, as it demonstrates lyrically and musically what the world needs more of: heart and gusto. Then again, with a few countries revolutionized (Tunisia, Egypt, Libya), several countries “shaking” (Syria, Yemen, Jordan, Bahrain, Russia, the Eurozone, and, naturally, Japan) and one country doing a whole lot of Internet bitching (USA) in 2011, maybe Harvey was spot-on after all. Let England shake, too.

Radiohead * The King of Limbs

Key Track: “Separator”

This may be blasphemous, but I like this album more than “In Rainbows.” It just feels fresher, more courageous, more daring, or a break from “the Radiohead sound” while still paying tribute to it. I am in the camp of Radiohead fans who prefer “Weird Fishes/Arpeggio” to their over-worked maximalist tendencies (“Bodysnatchers”). Radiohead thankfully filled The King of Limbs with an album of Weird Fishes and Arpeggios. It’s short, punchy, and cerebral, filling my head with ideas for music videos: the mark of any great Radiohead album, in my book.

Lykke Li * Wounded Rhymes

Key Track: “Love Out of Lust”

With Wounded Rhymes, Lykke Li has become the princess of broken hearts and mid-20s relational frustrations. No longer in the eternally hopeful phase of the early 20s, Li has suffered her setbacks and begins to question Love’s place in her life. But aside from that, she has crafted a pop album as bittersweet as anything by The Shirelles, and as dark as anything put out by her fellow Swedes from The Knife. The key track, “Love Out of Lust,” follows a train of thought that would’ve sounded misplaced on her previous album, Youth Novels, which dwelled on tiny, everlasting love. On “Lust,” Li sings, “I’m running out of time / so let’s dance while we’re waiting,” as if resigning herself to the wonderful fate of finding ecstasy and fulfillment in partnership rather than the misguided elations felt during teen couplings. As if!

Panda Bear * Person Pitch/Tomboy

Key Track: “Bros”/“You Can Count On Me” (respectively)

This year Panda Bear really crystallized for me. I’d like to mention Tomboy in this spot, but found myself listening to Person Pitch more often, particularly drawn to “Bros” time and time again. More than anything in 2011, I needed music that calmed my nerves, brought about deeper introspection, and made me serene in the face of change/upheaval. “Bros” hit the spot again, and again, and again. A full 12 and a half minute barn-burner of a song, it’s currently my Most Played track on my mp3 player. I particularly like to play it on long bus rides while zipping through the Ethiopian countryside, as it gives the fields and soil a special glow, gives the bizarre actions of blurry Ethiopians a deeper meaning. “You Can Count On Me” is a by far shorter song than “Bros,” but it packs a similar emotional weight. It’s the sound of going away for a long period of time, but reassuring your loved ones that you’ll be back, better than ever.

Spoon * Transference

Key Track: “The Mystery Zone”

OK, this album may have been released in 2010, but I don’t think I mentioned it last year, probably because I had yet to hear it. Well, Spoon can do no wrong, it seems. And, like a fine leather satchel, only gets better with age.

Tune-Yards * w h o k i l l

Key Track: “Bizness”

I was given two mix CDs this year; a Tune-Yards track appeared on both. Then my brother sent me a collection of music burned to CD, including the entirety of w h o k i l l. It seemed that many people were telling me, “Listen to this!” Even though I already had the album, I probably would not have given it such a close listen had it not followed me everywhere I went. It seems like such a provincial album to have made such waves this year…it sounds like an album a Bennington College music major would make as a masters thesis. But here it is, and when I listen to this music it just grows on me, like a benign cancer. Similar to, come to think of it, The King of Limbs.

Kanye West * My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Key Track: “Runaway” and “All of the Lights” (tie)

Forget why you hate Kanye West, let’s focus here on why you love him: For using raw piano as a backbeat. For “toasting the douchebags.” For using Justin Vernon (aka Bon Iver) to deep, un-ironic effect. For the lyric, “Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh? / I put the pussy in a sarcophagus.” For finally making fun of his ego rather than protecting it. For not using (or using very little) Auto-Tune on this album. For making it this far without blowing his brains out with a shotgun. Yeah, it’s no smooth ride with this freak, but where would we be without him?

Tracks of the Year; Or What I Got Down To in 2011

“Bad Girls” – M.I.A.

“Bombay” – El Guincho

“Only Girl in the World” – Rihanna

“Dancing On My Own” – Robyn

“Astoria (Demo)” – Starfucker

“Not In Love (feat. Robert Smith)” – Crystal Castles

“Gasoline” – Britney Spears

Honorable Mentions for Bands Putting Out Decent Albums That Broke No New Ground

Cut Copy – Zonoscope

The Decemberists – The King is Dead

YACHT – Shangri-La

Thao & Mirah – Self-Titled

 

Dishonorably Discharged

Bright Eyes – The People’s Key

The New Pornographer’s – Together

 

Albums That I Obtained (Literally) Only Yesterday, And Will Have To Be Remarked Upon at a Later Date

Blind Pilot – We Are the Tide

Beirut – The Rip Tide

Bon Iver – Self-Titled

Fleet Foxes – Helplessness Blues

Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks – Mirror Traffic

TV on the Radio – Nine Types of Light

The Great Ethiopian Run

Eyes slide open to the sound of minibus taxi boys singing their song and that all-pervasive Ethiopian light flooding my Kings Hotel room. I look at my watch: 7:30am. Perfect, I think to myself, I’m about to embark on a mission of unknown outcome and I only got five hours of sleep.

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This is the scene I’ve become accustomed to in the first few weeks of college. I am giving a short inspirational speech to a crowd of hundreds of first-year English students while they take camera-phone pics of me.

This is the scene I’ve become accustomed to in the first few weeks of college. I am giving a short inspirational speech to a crowd of hundreds of first-year English students while they take camera-phone pics of me.

Ethiopia: A Primer for Those Thinking About Visiting

This is a blog in which I attempt to organize some thoughts regarding the chance you might be considering a trip to Ethiopia. In particularly, you’re thinking about visiting me in the field and getting the “Peace Corps experience” of Ethiopia, not the tour operators’ bubble-wrapped package of postcards version.

I will be frank: Ethiopia is no picnic. It’s no Bali. Do not honeymoon here, unless you think frequent trips to the shint-bet [pit latrine] with explosive diarrhea makes a romantic night. Do not expect to get a tan here; the sun’s all UVA rays, meaning you’ll develop skin cancer before your flesh turns any color but red. Do not entertain fantasies about an Africa of your celluloid imagination; Ethiopia is mostly deforested mountains or hot, scorching scrub desert with over 80 million people crammed into a country the size of the Pacific Northwest. Even on remote mountain treks you’ll encounter villages and tons of cute-but-dumb domesticated animals chewing on the greenery.

I say all this not to get your hopes up, but to ground your expectations. I do this because Ethiopia will defy your every expectation and thrill you in ways you can’t imagine from the comforts of your computer desk. There’s a saying amongst Ethiopia PCVs: “The only thing consistent about Ethiopia is that it’s inconsistent.” This country will bedevil your every expectation and turn your worldview topsy-turvy, if only for a time. I can’t imagine a more compelling reason to go anywhere than that.

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Same Same, But Different

Same as North America, Ethiopia has four seasons, but they are different in different ways. Krumt (June-August) is the cold, monsoon season of colossal rains, epic mud and chilly drops in temperature. S’aday (September-November) is the green spring, where things dry up, flowers bloom and the coffee harvest begins. Baga (Dec.-Feb.) is hot, dusty, and windy; everything turns a brownish color, but not in a pretty way. Balg (March-May) marks the returns of the rains, which brings back the green, and is said to be Ethiopia’s “true summer.”

During the wet season it thunderstormed at least once per day, literally bringing buckets of water to my doorstep (I collect my water from a catchment-basin system). Now that it’s S’aday, it’s rained maybe two or three times in the past three weeks where significant water fell from the sky. Thus, my previously willy-nilly water usage (using about 6 gallons per day) has been drastically reduced. Now my showers last 15 seconds. I eat out more (to avoid dirtying dishes). I wear the same outfit everyday (like Ethiopians do) and only do laundry twice a month. Since I have a bucket-flush squat toilet (requiring a liter of water every time I want to “flush”) I may even start using the college’s communal pit toilets more often.

People think a shortage of oil will change the Western World’s habits. I call bollocks on that … the coming water crisis will have much greater effect on our habits. I challenge you to tabulate how much water you use in a single day and compare it to my 2.5 gallons per day average. (According to a past issue of National Geographic, Americans use 100 gallons on average, per person, per day.) Gulp.

In Bonga, packaged food imported from Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Somaliland, Indonesia, India and Yemen are increasingly found in some of the shops, but for the most part everyone eats staples and seasonal food here. Here is the breakdown of the food seasons I know so far:

June-July-August: Avocados, tomatoes, pineapples, mangoes, corn

September-October-November: Guavas, papaya, green pumpkins, fresh coffee

There seems to be an infinite supply of red onions, garlic, green chili peppers, potatoes, and carrots here. Lemons, limes, and sour oranges are mostly available, though they might be imported from the Rift Valley area. Cabbage seems omnipresent, but with the lack of rain it may, too, disappear. Bananas have been abundant and cheap thus far, which means I’ll be making a ton of banana bread all year long. Jackfruit grows here and there, but I’ve never seen it for sale anywhere.

I’ve tried some strange fruit on buses here (long story), one of which was called “gishtah” (in Amharic) and was a green fruit with indentations, easily pierced skin revealing white, juicy flesh with almond-size black seeds inside. Its texture was like an overripe pear. Juicy, sweet and meaty: I really liked it. Unfortunately it was only available for a week in mid-September.

Airplanes simply do not pass over Bonga. The effect this has on one’s psyche has yet to be determined. I presume a jet flying overhead will freak me out in two years time. (Satellites, too, seem rare.)

The Milky Way stands out so much at night that it looks like a permanent cloud. It is the most prominent cosmic body seen at night, second only to two planets I have yet to identify but which I think are Jupiter and Saturn.

None of the constellations make any sense. My cosmic world is, literally, turned upside down. I am too close to the equator to see the Big Dipper or North Star and my knowledge of the equatorial constellations is zilch.

As opposed to West African nations, monkeys and baboons are mostly ignored and never eaten here. They are openly tolerated. Herds of olive baboons prowl the road construction sites between Jimma and Bonga looking for scraps tossed from passing buses. Shy, majestic black-and-white colobus monkeys perch in the treetops, eating leaves at dawn and dusk. Brown-and-white grivet monkeys are seen in the lower canopy and also scavenging around homes for scraps. The elusive, solitary De Brazza’s monkey is mostly found in deep jungle, and barks like an asthmatic dog when it sees humans.

Simple illustration of time/schedule valuation difference, as told to me the other day by a Math Teacher at my college:

Me: “When will classes start next week?”

Math Teacher: “Tuesday (he smiles) by your calendar. But maybe Wednesday or Thursday by Ethiopian time.” (He smiles widely again, as if this is funny). [It must be noted that college classes are already starting two weeks behind schedule as it stands.]

TV-watching Ethiopians probably watch more international news on TV, via the omnipresent BBC and Al-Jazeera satellite channels and few other options, than TV-watching Americans do. I’m not saying they comprehend these TV programs, as most Ethiopians have the TV on just for background noise.

Instant oatmeal mixed with powdered milk, dash of cinnamon, and a spoonful of honey and peanut butter will be my go-to breakfast (electricity permitting) most mornings. Oatmeal would be my tenth choice for breakfast options in the States, I hate it so much. But given that choices 1-9 are not easily obtainable (or require too much prepwork that it negates a “quick, nutritious breakfast”) I’ve grown a deep appreciation for instant oatmeal.

I’ve also cultivated a deep appreciation for black tea, dash of milk powder, diced ginger, and dash of cinnamon. It puts the sort of low-grade coffee one finds in Ethiopia to shame.

Over 80 languages are spoken in Ethiopia. Yes, even Ethiopians admit this can be frustrating at times.

New curtains!